Reflection on 2010

Oops. It's been almost a year since I updated. Well.....what can I say. I've been busy. Here's the yearly update...

I didn’t write a reflection for the Christmas cards I sent this year because, honestly, 2010 was just too exhausting to think about. And I still wasn’t feeling completely myself. I was still working really hard at being myself so no one would notice something was wrong. Because I knew something was wrong, but couldn’t put my finger on it, and didn’t feel up to being analyzed by everyone. Thankfully, but the grace of God, I am now feeling effortlessly like myself again. I don’t feel so broken or fragile anymore. And life is good right now, so I can clearly reflect.

Here are the highlights of 2010:

- Getting more clients for “on-call” bookkeeping at work, where I would go out to the business’ location that needed help with their bookkeeping. It sure was nice to get out of the office for a few hours a week.

- Moving to the house next door, though that had some complications of its own. But in the end, a highlight and blessing.

- Yoko’s visit from Japan. So great to see her!!

- Joining the worship team at my church, fulfilling a vision God gave me a few years ago.

- Strengthening new & existing friendships.

- Losing my job (though I didn’t see it as a highlight/blessing until about November 2010).

- Learning how to kayak & spending various days throughout the summer on the water with a friend.

- Having more friends move to the Portland area (Hollie & Darrel, Agnieszka & Sihonn, Megs & Brandon).

- Having my cousin, her husband, and son move to Oregon from Oklahoma!!

- Spending more time with Mom’s side of the family (meeting some of them for the first time as an adult)….in Washington.

- Realizing that parts of Washington are more beautiful than Oregon…who knew?

- Spending time with my aunt & uncle from Ohio, and getting a little closure on Grandma’s death.

- Riding the train to Tacoma for the first time…and loving it!!

- Getting to have a real summer vacation, probably for the last time in my life. I spent A LOT of the time at the Sandy River, Wintler Park, biking along the Columbia, and laying outside in my backyard with Twisite (the cat). Also: got to see my first-ever Timber’s soccer game (AWESOME!) and got to see Maria Bamford live!! In addition: had the best camping trip thus far, at Diamond Lake with a bunch of fabulous friends, went to Crater Lake (& jumped in!), got to finally see Toketee Falls (so worth it!), and stumbled across the best hot spring - Umpqua Hot Springs by Toketee Falls.

- Learning how to make salad rolls.

- Transforming the gardens at my “new” house. I love gardening.

- Getting to know our Japanese ELS student next door, Natsuki.

- Spending lots of quality time with Natasha Woodward. ;-)

Here are the negatives of 2010 (sigh):

- Learning about my aunt’s cancerous tumor and worrying intensely about her health and future all year long. Things are still a bit unresolved. Continued prayer is very much appreciated.

- Moving to the house next door. At the time, I felt pretty beat up inside and unwanted. I realize now that wasn’t the case, but it hasn’t been all peaches & cream at this new house. A few months after moving in, things with one roommate started going downhill & resulted in her moving out. The next roommate to move in turned out to be crazy and moved out after a month. Talk about stress in the house…

- My car breaking down while I was driving, in May. Scary and expensive. (Thank God for a great mechanic, though!!)

- Working in an office with all women. Talk about DRAMA! Thank God I am out of that situation!

- Losing my job. It was just so sudden. No warning AT ALL. And I wasn’t even the last hired….but alas, I am letting it all go now. It’s a negative and a positive, because I’ve had great opportunities come up, plus I’ve been able to take time to realize what kind of life I really want. Working 40 hours a week in an atmosphere like that turned me even more bitter…which I didn’t realize until a month after I stopped working there. But it’s also a negative because aside from the drama at work, I really enjoyed the job I had. I was learning.

- Corrine and Ellen moving to Eugene. I guess it’s only a year and a half ‘til you come back, right?

- Exhausting myself with running around trying to solve other people’s problems. This time it all caught up with me and I actually lost my mind. I was in a brain “fog” for about a month, most of September. I slowly came out of it in October, but was feeling pretty down about life. I got kinda depressed. Not the kind of depressed where I needed medication, but depressed nonetheless. It was awful. I’ve realized that some of it was lack of sleep, then lack of taking the time to process real feelings. Once I actually let everything go, things got better. Prayer helped tremendously too.

- Job searching. Sent out 30 resumes over the summer, NO RESPONSES. Still applied for various jobs in the fall, no responses still. Finally got an interview in December, but didn’t hear back from them after the interview. Job searching sucks!!

Well, that's it. Feels good to remember the good parts, at least. Here's to hoping 2011 is BETTER. So far it's off to a great start! ;-)